this is it...

POSTED ON: Tuesday, April 9, 2013 @ 5:52 AM | 0 comments

dear reader,

 sorry it has been such a long time since i've made a proper post... 

 Today I've a lot of time to think about things... I've thought about how high on life I am right now, but at the same time how low I feel. This morning on the bus, the long (mainly because of traffic light stops) repetitive journey made me realise the actual impact of leaving high school. 

 Like yes, there are times throughout the year where I'm like, "Ok, I have to leave high school and enter uni and be independent," but today i actually realised, "SHIT! I'm actually scared to leave high school and leave everyone I've grown to be comfortable with to meet new people (the horror!) I'll have to plan every single day, think ahead for life..." (There was also a very suggestive comment made by my mum at dinner today which really pissed me off, but that is for another time...)

 However it also made me realise, since moving schools, things have gotten better. It took me this long to realise because yes I've had times where things have been just crap, and even at times during Year 12 the monotony of school gets to me... but mostly because I haven't really reflected on the whole journey experience as a whole! 

 It has truly been all the little things that add up to allow me to smile about high school... especially the things i'd never thought i'd do - play several night games of basketball against women twice my age (although arguably not well), running in the rain today and getting soaked with Jenny and laughing while playing that perfect song, all the maths lessons sitting next to Tauba and bonding over our hatred for some people & or just laughing at random things in general, listening to Naman know everything about the latest celeb goss, being able to be the better player when treated like crap, and many other things which i can't really list right now because i cant think of them haha

 anyway i hope this makes up for the time i haven't blogged for! i'll be back shortly and i am thinking of all my readers :) xxx


POSTED ON: Saturday, March 30, 2013 @ 4:52 AM | 0 comments

every time I try to do something good its never appreciated.

confused

POSTED ON: Thursday, March 28, 2013 @ 4:35 AM | 0 comments

I'm still confused as to why you wouldn't tell me.
Remember you can lose my compassion as easily as you can gain it.

POSTED ON: Sunday, March 17, 2013 @ 12:28 AM | 0 comments

all i fucking want right now is a large starbucks a bed and a lovely boy in it.

in 5 years time

POSTED ON: Sunday, March 10, 2013 @ 4:40 AM | 0 comments

when im 22,

this is how i want my life to be.

living with my love, in a small and cosy, eccentric appartment with a water view, travelling with him to places where we only dreamed of going in our teenage years... going for day trips to far away beaches and bushland and just get lost until we miss our home again. we will have the windows rolled down and blast our favourite music from the speakers, singing at the top of our lungs without a care in the world. we will snuggle up by a fire, just cuddling and not talking, taking in the pureness and beautifulness of the flickering flame.
we will have jobs that we love even though they may not be high paying - but we will definitely love them. we will love and support our families at all times and we will get along with each others families. we will laugh about the silliest things and we will wake up and make the other coffee while they are asleep. we will of course have a cat - a cuddly cat who will be the most adorable animal i will ever lay eyes on.
we will visit our friends often and have them over often - never forgetting that they're there for us - we won't be one of those couples that are too in love to forget about our friends.
we will cook healthy and organic food and go on morning walks, sunset walks, whatever we feel like that day. we will learn new things together - this will bring us together and make us unbreakable as we have grown together as one and i will always remember these moments.

we will have our bad times but we will solve them quickly, remembering that our love is the most important thing and most importantly - we will be perfect for each other and belong to each other for infinite.

late night thinking

POSTED ON: Saturday, March 9, 2013 @ 5:03 AM | 0 comments

I'm not sure if I'm weird but I have this weird thing of which certain smells can conjure up the most vivid memories.

I think the one I remember most is the strawberry scented body butter from The Body Shop. When I think about the smell or even physically smell it I think back to the way my room was in year 8; the gentle pitter patter of the rain against the rooftop, the lush greenery covered in glass raindrops right outside my window; the way that I would read twilight on my bed with my legs crossed in the air and of course; the smell of the strawberry body butter encircling my room. That is a smell I will never get.

thoughts

POSTED ON: Friday, March 8, 2013 @ 4:16 AM | 0 comments

List of self-realisations




These are the reasons of what have been causing my emotional mood swings in the past month and it's begun to drive me insane. I'm not sure if my friends have noticed, but I'm not as always happy as I used to be. I'm not sure if I've done something wrong to anyone but I keep getting this feeling that semi-close friends and teachers are blunt and annoyed at me... At first I ignored it because I thought it would've been a one off thing... But its gotten progressively worse and I can't tell whether it's because of my overanalytical personality or whether its because it's real. I wan't people to laugh and smile when they talk to me because their laughs and smiles are contagious - any sign and I'll be happy too.



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